Zion doing something more than just eating...

Lot of talk around former standout Duke Blue Devil and number one pick Zion Williamson these last few seasons. From his limited time on the court (Zion has played 114 games for NOLA, his approximate per game rate is $383k, lol), injury problems, and his at times concerning fluctuation in weight. The bright lights of the NBA have not been too kind so far to this highly touted prospect that many considered one of the next generational players. The start to his career had many wondering, myself included... just what is Zion doing?

Well, it's been quite clear in the last 24 hours that Zion has been doing a whole lot more than just enjoying delicious Cajun food items like Gumbo, Jambalaya, Po Boys, Crawfish, etc. Zion has been doing... a whole lot of fuckin'.

Zion Williamson announced Tuesday that he will be a father! Any time someone brings another life into the world it is truly a beautiful event. And if you are a New Orleans Pelican fan, then you have to be thinking something like this could get Zion back on track. Right? He now has someone else to grind for. It's now bigger than just Zion, he is doing this for his family. However, despite Zion joining the "Girl Dad" club that other greats like Kobe Bryant (RIP) were apart of, the universe couldn't help but rain on Mr. Williamsons parade.

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Zions celebration was very quickly interrupted with a bombshell of... well the years 2023, you guessed it, tweets. Adult actress Moriah Mills, who many fans may remember from her legendary performances in classics such as Baby Got Boobs or Ass Parade dropped a string of tweets exposing Zion for having an affair recently. Dropping a series of her tweets below:

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Typically, I would maybe be a bit skeptical here. But she came with receipts, yup, she even showed snapchat conversations between the two. Tough look for Zion, it really is. Any time you are communicating over snapchat, that is not a good look. We all know that snapchat is the ultimate creeper/slime ball application.

So the main take away, Zion likes to have sex. Which is cool. But a couple of thoughts that I think are fair to suggest and maybe even ask Zion Williamson:

  • Maybe he just likes porn? I know there has been a lot of anti porn rhetoric with Gen Z on TikTok and other social media platforms. According to these new media sources that only deliver hard hitting facts porn drops your testosterone. Does Zion have a porn or sex addiction? Is this why he has been so injury prone?
  • Did he ever consider hitting up Jimmy Garroppolo for advice on dating a porn star?
  • How long will it take before the marketing geniuses at CamSoda tweet Zion Williamson offering him $200k to webcam?

Between this and Ja Morant flashing an alleged toy gun on Instagram, who the hell needs an NBA Finals? Wasn't there a game tonight? I think Jokic had a 30-20-10 triple double. I honestly don't know or care, I am most interested in if Moriah Mills will leak any videos of her relations with Zion. Could Zion end up being the Kim K of the NBA? The script never ends! This League!

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