We are nearly a third of the way through Spring. The weather is starting to get warmer. My fellow short kings are finally getting their calories in through their meal plans. And the babes are stepping out at night and hitting the town. This is what we’ve been preparing for boys, now is our time!
My Short Kings better take notes on this guy. This is how you should be looking this Spring.
Not only has the Marina district of SF become self proclaimed territory of the OneTake Mafia, but it was also Producer Reese’s (your Short King Leader) nightlife stomping ground- I can’t say that I ever went out a whole lot in SF, but if I did, it was here. There were especially lots of memories made here during company outings with Danny Dials and the rest of the crew.
Why are these the go-to bars to hit for Short King Spring? It’s not because they offer a lot of accommodation for short dudes (cough* cough* bar stools to stand on), but rather these are the spots where you may begin your search for a tall queen. On another note, these are just some of my personal favorites too haha.
3. Westwood SF
To be honest, I had a bit of a difficult time picking the bar for slot 3. It was between Silver Clouds, White Rabbit, and Westwood, but I ultimately chose Westwood. I have a lot of funny memories from Silver Clouds, but ultimately you’ll just find yourself in a place infested with college freshman or sophomores. And yes, these students will be in groups, taking turns on stage singing Karaoke, with only one or two members of the group singing properly and the rest contributing close to nothing (shoutout Tony Bautista).
At White Rabbit, the vibes are pretty mid most of the time, there’s really no dancing or anything going on- just a lot of people standing around in their own groups. It also gets overly crowded inside White Rabbit.
At Westwood, there is a cover charge (which is low energy), but it’s kind of a cool spot to hit up with your boys. There’s two floors in this establishment, the upper level is country themed and the lower level just looks like a nightclub (complete with bottle service and all that extra shit). But yeah, this being said, there’s a good variety when it comes to babe selection. If you're a short king, I recommend riding the electronic bull on the top floor- I feel like we may have an advantage when it comes to this.
2. Comet Club
Out of all the spots in the Marina, somehow I’ve ended up here the most. On a typical night, the Comet Club has always been the very first bar we go to, or the very last bar we go to. What’s cool about Comet Club is that it’s quite small relative to the other bars on this list, but there’s usually a lot of energy in here. They’ve got a little dance floor in the back (literally like a 12x12 square of space) which people are always using. There’s a couple of booths to sit down at on the side, if you’ve got a crew. I’ve also noticed the most gym bros at this one, for some odd reason- so all my fellow short kings shouldn’t have any trouble fraternizing with the majority of the crowd here.
1. Balboa Cafe
Shoutout to Danny Dials for bringing me here during the August 23’ company outing. What can I say, it’s quite a legendary spot. The Balboa Cafe is like the Mecca for Marina bros. Every single time I’ve gone to the Marina, this place has always looked like the most packed out. Along with the dimly lit indoor space they have, there’s also a seated outdoor space right out front where a lot of people post up at. They also have espresso martinis, which most of the patrons here order (I haven’t tried one here, but I have tried one before- they’re pretty fire). Last but not least, out of all the spots on this list, this one has the most babes. It’s like Marina babe central here. Tall queens, short queens, local queens, out-of-state queens. You name it, they’re all here. To my short kings based out of SF, make sure you make at least one pilgrimage to the Balboa Cafe this Short King Spring.
Keep getting wider boys, get that protein in…
God Bless,
Producer Reese
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I think Young Reesey needs a blog on Stockton or jiu jitsu in the pipeline...