Short Man of the Month: Ron DeSantis

This blog is going to be a special one, shoutout to Danny Dials for the idea. Now you’re probably thinking, “Ron DeSantis looks like a pretty average size man right? He’s gotta be at least 5’10” to 6’0" tall?” Well think again. The 46th governor of Florida may not be as tall as you think. 

DeSantis was known for sporting a pair of cowboy boots throughout his campaign. However, the internet warriors of America started to fixate on the way that these boots appeared, Especially when Ron is pictured sitting down on a stool. Critics have pointed out that the shape of his boots are a little off. Some have even gone as far as drawing the outline of “his foot” over the boot, to “prove” that he is wearing height lifts. I’ll speak more on this later. 

Meanwhile, others have brought to light how much his height varies in photographs. Here are two images of DeSantis, one with him next to Piers Morgan and one with him in a group next to Tiger Woods. Morgan stands at about 6’0" on the dot, and Woods is about 6’1”. Now these aren’t very extreme examples. However, DeSantis does look to be about 2 inches shorter than Morgan, and about an inch taller than Woods (based on looking at the shoulders), which would give us a 3 to 4 inch difference in height between these photos. Again, “it’s not that deep bro,” as there are many things that could affect the presentation of height in photographs (camera angles, difference in ground elevation, etc.) 

Now, back to the topic of height lifts. Sometimes, when I’m scrolling through Instagram, I’ll see advertisements for these. They’re all very cringy, for the record. They’ll usually feature a young 20 year old guy on the sidewalk (with average to above average height) interviewing another short guy of similar age and asking him how tall he thinks he is. The short guy will probably lie about his height and get called out for it, once the tall guy pulls out a tape measure. The tall guy then presents the height lifts to the short guy, who then proceeds to put them on. The short guy is now another 3 or 4 inches taller and all of the sudden has the confidence to “rizz” up the girls who spontaneously show up towards the end of the commercial. Yeah, cringe city. 

In my opinion, to be a TRUE short king, you gotta embrace your height. Don’t care if you’re 4’10” or 5’7”, you gotta go full send. I’m not saying that wearing height lifts won’t give you any advantages, I’m just saying that wearing them will give you a false sense of confidence - something that will go away when you take them off. 

So I don’t really know how tall DeSantis is. However I do know one thing, even if he was a real short dude, I wouldn’t call him a “short king.” Short kings are not insecure about their height. DeVito and Scorsese, the two short dudes that I wrote about last… Sure they may have experienced some insecurity about their size, but it didn’t stop them from becoming big dogs - and they also never lied about their height. Height lifts, in my opinion, which DeSantis may or may not be wearing, are a sign of this insecurity. To all my fellow short kings out there, be proud of your stature.

Producer Reese out.